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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Tech Is The Future, Reports Local Dad

NAPERVILLE, IL—Beginning his remarks by saying “These tech guys, I’ll tell you what,” local dad Alan Estlin stressed in conversation with his daughter today the important role he foresees the technology industry playing in the future. “Tech: that’s where it’s at,” said the 48-year-old tile supplier, adding that “kids today should all be going to school for tech” and that “a few years down the road, it’ll all be tech.” “Computers. The internet. Anyone with half a brain can see things are heading in that direction. And it’s all in California; that’s where it’s happening.” Sources say Estlin elaborated on his projections for the technology sector for upwards of 10 minutes, concluding that “in this job market, if you get a degree in computers, they’re gonna be banging down your door.”

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