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Tips

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Choosing The Right Dog For You

Once you decide to get a dog, there’s a wide range of adoptable pets to choose from, whether it’s a mutt or purebred. The Onion offers some helpful tips for choosing the dog that’s right for you.

Choosing The Right School For Your Child

With a new school year beginning soon, parents are making decisions about which type of school best fits their child’s needs. The Onion breaks down what each has to offer.

The Onion’s Beach Bag Essentials

Each summer, Americans flock to the coasts to enjoy the sun and waves. Here are the beach bag must-haves you should never head to the shore without.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
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Tech Tips

Technology innovates faster than many people can comfortably keep up. Here's some general tips to deal with the ever-changing, innovative world of technology.

  • Much like wine, the second cheapest option is usually the best.
  • Getting a portable hard drive is easier and cheaper than ever, but how much would you pay if all your precious photos and e-mail fell into the wrong hands? Certainly seems worth at least three grand.
  • Just ask your friend Brian. He reads up about all that kind of tech stuff.
  • Remember to reserve at least one-eighth of the contents of a can of compressed air for computer cleaning.
  • If your current gadget is starting to feel a little obsolete, just go to a Silicon Valley bar and order a round of sake bombs for everyone. Then scour the floor and bathroom, as those lightweight techies are sure to have left a cutting-edge prototype of some sort lying around there somewhere.
  • If you're still having problems after you've run a full system scan, check to make sure your antivirus software's Israeli state cyberwarfare firewall is turned on.
  • Try communicating with your devices. Learn how to beep and boop simply by using your mouth.

More from this section

Choosing The Right School For Your Child

With a new school year beginning soon, parents are making decisions about which type of school best fits their child’s needs. The Onion breaks down what each has to offer.

The Onion’s Beach Bag Essentials

Each summer, Americans flock to the coasts to enjoy the sun and waves. Here are the beach bag must-haves you should never head to the shore without.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.

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