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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

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COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Tecmo Bowl–Winning Bulldogs Visit White House

WASHINGTON—President Barack Obama hosted the Tecmo Bowl champion Bulldogs at the White House Thursday, honoring the team for their stunning victory over the heavily favored Wildcats.

Obama, who met with the players and coach BOB and provided a guided tour of the White House Rose Garden, commended the Bulldogs’ hard-fought effort as well as congratulating the team for winning the storied franchise’s 9 millionth Tecmo Bowl title.

“What the Bulldogs have accomplished on the 8-bit gridiron is no small feat by any means,” said Obama, who smiled while holding up a personalized Bulldogs jersey. “This team’s heart, grit, and determination inspired the world. Especially after they came back from behind to defeat the defending Tecmo Bowl champion Wildcats.”

Posing for photos with players, Obama reportedly informed the Bulldogs that their 34-27 win was one of the most thrilling Tecmo Bowls that he had ever watched.

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Throughout the ceremony, Obama expressed his admiration for Bulldogs head coach BOB, lauding both his leadership and patience during difficult moments such as when the placekicker accidentally attempted a field goal with an empty kick meter.

While Obama acknowledged that BOB’s ability to select a receiver before the snap was nothing less than brilliant, the president said that he was more impressed that the coach was able to transform a group of relatively unknown, nondescript players into Tecmo Bowl champions.

“Your victory is obviously a wonderful achievement, but the camaraderie displayed on the field will represent your true legacy,” said Obama, addressing the Bulldogs on the White House South Lawn. “This team never lost faith or gave up even after the Bulldogs quarterback threw an ‘intercept’ late in the game.”

“The Bulldogs trotted right back onto the field, and those 10 pixelated men played like 10 pixelated brothers,” added Obama. “You played with such courage, purpose, and resolve that the Wildcats never stood a chance.” Obama also applauded the Bulldogs’ selfless blocking, punishing side-to-side running game, and the perseverance of halfbacks to frantically shake free of the Wildcats’ top-ranked tacklers.

In addition, the president also offered the highest praise to the Bulldogs’ energetic and passionate fans for packing the stadium’s stands and showing their unwavering support by repeatedly raising and lowering their arms.

At press time, Obama was calling the Wildcats head coach ASS to congratulate the team for their recent Tecmo Bowl victory.

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