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Ted Cruz Boldly Declares Nation Not Deserving Of Better Candidate

LYNCHBURG, VA—Announcing his 2016 presidential bid before thousands of students at Liberty University, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) boldly declared Monday that the nation had done absolutely nothing to deserve a better candidate than himself. “I want you to take a good, hard look at me, America, because this is exactly what you’ve got coming,” said Cruz, adding that the country was kidding itself if it thought it was worthy of higher-quality leadership than exactly what he was prepared to offer. “Deep down, you know you’ve got no business supporting anyone else. I’m all you’re entitled to, so just give me your vote and watch what happens. You earned it.” Cruz went on to say that, in some ways, he might actually be a better candidate than the nation deserved.

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