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Ted Cruz Boldly Declares Nation Not Deserving Of Better Candidate

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Election 2016

Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
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Ted Cruz Boldly Declares Nation Not Deserving Of Better Candidate

LYNCHBURG, VA—Announcing his 2016 presidential bid before thousands of students at Liberty University, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) boldly declared Monday that the nation had done absolutely nothing to deserve a better candidate than himself. “I want you to take a good, hard look at me, America, because this is exactly what you’ve got coming,” said Cruz, adding that the country was kidding itself if it thought it was worthy of higher-quality leadership than exactly what he was prepared to offer. “Deep down, you know you’ve got no business supporting anyone else. I’m all you’re entitled to, so just give me your vote and watch what happens. You earned it.” Cruz went on to say that, in some ways, he might actually be a better candidate than the nation deserved.

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