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Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.
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Ted Cruz Skyrockets In Polls After Head Permanently Sealed Within Iron Mask

HOUSTON—Bouncing back from a disappointing third-place finish in the Nevada caucuses, Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz reportedly surged in the polls this week after having his head permanently sealed inside a 2-inch-thick iron mask. “Cruz has found new life with voters and is currently riding a wave of popularity into Super Tuesday’s primaries after his team made the shrewd strategic move to enclose the candidate’s head inside a 60-pound cylinder of wrought iron,” said political commentator Leslie Morrison, noting that voters have responded extremely favorably to the Texas senator’s face being completely concealed from view and every one of his talking points rendered inaudible by the thick iron casing surrounding his face. “Whether it’s the fear visible in his eyes through the thin slit in his mask, his muffled screams for help, or his repeated and entirely futile attempts to pry the riveted-shut metal covering off his head, people are finally seeing Cruz in a way that really resonates with them.” The latest polls released Tuesday showed Cruz climbing another 10 points after the dehydrated, staggering candidate toppled over at a campaign rally and was too weak to lift his heavy, iron-encased head back up off the floor.

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Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

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