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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Ted Danson Tries To Steer Interview Back Toward Becker

CHICAGO—During an interview Monday with CBS affiliate WBBM-TV, actor Ted Danson made repeated efforts to steer the conversation back toward his current series, Becker. "It's true, one of the ingredients that made Cheers work so well was the great ensemble of actors we had," Danson told Live At Five host Janet Pye, attempting to set up a Cheers-Becker segue. "That's the case with any good series, and it's certainly the case with—" Pye sabotaged the attempted transition by interjecting that Danson and Shelley Long had particularly good chemistry.

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