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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Teemu Selanne Practices Kissing Stanley Cup On Hand

ANAHEIM—Ducks forward and team scoring leader Teemu Selanne, who has not won a championship in his 16 NHL seasons, has been using his hand to practice kissing the Stanley Cup since his team won the first game of the Finals, sources close to the team report. "He began by hoisting a pretend Stanley Cup over his head, which was pretty normal," said Anaheim goalie Jean-Sebastien Giguere, who accidentally stumbled onto Selanne's tentative locker-room practice sessions Tuesday night when he returned to retrieve his forgotten car keys. "Then he sort of formed his hand into a Stanley Cup-like shape, closed his eyes, and sort of brushed his lips on it gingerly. It was rather awkward." Giguere said his offer to loan Selanne his homemade aluminum-foil kissing-practice cup was rebuffed by Selanne as "just sad."

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