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Nauseatingly Precious NYC Couples To Walk Around In Rain

The Onion Weather Center looks at New York City where heavy rain causes obnoxious loving couples to come out and walk around the city like a bunch of assholes who have never seen rain before, and an impending blackout gives the city's working class its...

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Teen Accurately Describes Robert Mapplethorpe Exhibit As 'Gay'

DETROIT—Despite having viewed only a single Robert Mapplethorpe photograph of a pink orchid during a class trip to the Detroit Institute of Arts yesterday, 14-year-old Greg Callahan accurately characterized the deceased artist's work as "totally frigging gay." "Art is for homos, and this museum is for homos, and this guy is obviously a homo," said Callahan, correctly identifying Mapplethorpe's sexual orientation without reading his biography. "I'll be in the stupid café." Though he refused to observe any of their work, Callahan added that the rest of the artists featured in the "Perspectives On Perspective" exhibit—including David Hockney, Andy Warhol, Pablo Picasso, and Hannah Gluckstein—were all gay as well, a claim which was 75 percent correct.

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