CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
DETROIT—Despite having viewed only a single Robert Mapplethorpe photograph of a pink orchid during a class trip to the Detroit Institute of Arts yesterday, 14-year-old Greg Callahan accurately characterized the deceased artist's work as "totally frigging gay." "Art is for homos, and this museum is for homos, and this guy is obviously a homo," said Callahan, correctly identifying Mapplethorpe's sexual orientation without reading his biography. "I'll be in the stupid café." Though he refused to observe any of their work, Callahan added that the rest of the artists featured in the "Perspectives On Perspective" exhibit—including David Hockney, Andy Warhol, Pablo Picasso, and Hannah Gluckstein—were all gay as well, a claim which was 75 percent correct.