Teen Boulder Can't Wait For Landslide To Roll It Into Ravine Where They Get It

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Vol 49 Issue 15

Man Hacks Into Plane’s Flight Controls Using Phone App

To draw attention to the vulnerabilities of flight control systems, a security consultant created an app for his Android phone that lets him remotely seize control of a jetliner’s autopilot function, potentially allowing him to alter its flight path...
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Teen Boulder Can't Wait For Landslide To Roll It Into Ravine Where They Get It

SALIDA, CO—Saying that he’s sick of his native mountainous escarpment and tired of being surrounded by “a bunch of squares,” a local teen boulder revealed Monday that it desperately wants to roll down into a nearby ravine where they actually get it. “The rocks and shrubs in the ravine below—they know the deal,” the adolescent stone told reporters, explaining that the boulders on the upper crags of its cliff face “seriously don’t have a clue.” “Down there, they get who I am and what I’m all about. Not like the losers up here.” The boulder went on to claim that it couldn’t take its current surroundings much longer and would definitely roll down into the ravine after “another 500 or 600 years of erosion, tops.”

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