adBlockCheck

Teenage Katrina Survivor Wins Yet Another Essay Contest

Top Headlines

Recent News

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Teenage Katrina Survivor Wins Yet Another Essay Contest

WASHINGTON—At an awards ceremony held yesterday for the 2008 Profiles in Courage Essay Contest, 17-year-old Hurricane Katrina survivor Audrey Temples collected yet another first-place trophy, her sixth in as many months. "It was so great to fly out to D.C. again and accept my award," said the displaced New Orleans resident, whose recent essays "Reflections In The Flood," "Flooded With Memories," and "Katrina Song" have all won her first-prize honors. "Hopefully I can come back soon. Maybe next week, if things work out." Temples is expected to return tomorrow to her family's FEMA-issued trailer, where her latest trophy will once again be pawned in order to help pay the bills.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close