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CEO Worked Way Up From Son Of CEO

Though today he holds a powerful position as head of a leading information technology firm, MergeMedia CEO Gary Lightman told reporters Thursday he, amazingly, worked his way to the very top of the company from humble beginnings as the son of the previous...

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Tennessee Titans Fans Looking Forward To Bye Week

NASHVILLE, TN—After enduring six straight losses and suffering through a humiliating 59-0 thrashing by the Patriots last Sunday, despondent Titans fans told reporters Wednesday that they were looking forward to enjoying a nice, relaxing bye week. "We're all hurting pretty bad, so this couldn't have come at a better time," Titans season-ticket holder Luther Murphy said. "Hopefully the week off will give us a chance to recharge, heal our wounds, and come back stronger than ever. Ah, who the fuck am I kidding? We suck." Though a majority of Titans fans said they wouldn't think or look at a football during their off week, some said they looked forward to spending their Sunday enjoying NFL football for the first time this year.

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