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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Tense Party Enters Third Hour Of Unplayed Acoustic Guitar Leaning Against Wall

EUGENE, OR—The tension at a party hosted by area man Chad Kopp was reportedly increasing by the minute Friday as attendees continued to glance uneasily at an acoustic guitar leaning against the living room wall for the third straight hour. “Yeah, Chad’s got a really cool place,” Kopp’s friend Eric Morehouse said to a small cluster of fellow guests, all of whom furtively eyed the guitar for any indication whatsoever that someone might pick it up and launch into a popular song, or an unknown riff they might later reveal as “just something [they’d] been working on.” “It’s much bigger than his old apartment, that’s for sure.” At press time, a full-blown panic was narrowly avoided when a party guest walking toward the guitar continued on to the bedroom to retrieve his jacket.

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