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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Terrell Owens Having Trouble Deciding Which Seahawks Quarterback To Undermine

SEATTLE—Seahawks wide receiver Terrell Owens announced Friday that he was still struggling to decide which of the team's three quarterbacks to undermine this season, claiming that Matt Flynn, Russell Wilson, and Tarvaris Jackson were all potential candidates for unfair criticism and personal attacks. "I'm torn, because Russell is a rookie, so I thought I would be able to publicly blame him for a poor offensive performance, but he's doing great," said Owens, who wouldn't rule out openly insinuating that one of the quarterbacks was secretly gay. "Matt's obviously more experienced than Russell, and he'd be perfect for unjust accusations that he's not getting me the ball enough and is favoring other receivers. On the other hand, let's not forget about Tarvaris, either—he already knows this offense so well that I could easily question the level of his conditioning in front of reporters." Owens also confirmed that he was still weighing which team to sign a short-term contract with once he is released by the Seahawks midway through the season.

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