Terrible Idea Committed To Paper

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Vol 44 Issue 23

Clinton Suspends Campaign

While keeping her delegates, Hillary Clinton has suspended her campaign to be the Democratic nominee, leaving Barack Obama the party's presumptive...

Ed McMahon May Lose House

After falling behind in payments, former Tonight Show sidekick Ed McMahon is in danger of losing his $6.25 million home. What do you think?
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Healthy Living

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    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

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  • Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

Terrible Idea Committed To Paper

SECAUCUS, NJ—Sales supervisor Justin Henry stopped in the middle of a busy sidewalk Monday, obstructing the paths of 15 pedestrians as he frantically searched his messenger bag for a pen, all so he could immortalize a tragically asinine notion on a scrap of paper. According to witnesses, the 29-year-old repeated the pointless idea to himself over and over while looking for the writing utensil, in order to insure the conservation of his precious concept. "This is why I always carry my little notebook," said Henry, who underlined, starred, and later e-mailed the thought to himself, apparently believing that a cognizant human being on earth might one day want to hear it. "This is good." The moronic bullshit idea had to do with efficient management techniques in the workplace.

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