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Terrible Seattle Seahawks Have No Chance In Hell Of Winning Playoff Game Again, Right?

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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Terrible Seattle Seahawks Have No Chance In Hell Of Winning Playoff Game Again, Right?

CHICAGO—Though the historically bad Seattle Seahawks managed, despite a 7-9 record, to defeat the defending world-champion Saints on Saturday, football fans agreed yesterday that the team will be thoroughly demolished on the road in Chicago this Sunday, right? "Look, they have the 28th-ranked offense and 27th-ranked defense; they're going to lose by 100, or at least a touchdown or so, right?" said Bears fan Kent Palmer, adding "lightning doesn't strike twice, usually." "It doesn't matter that they've already beaten us this year and they went point-for-point with the Saints. Marshawn Lynch isn't good, and I can't even name one player on their defense, so, yeah, they're going to get destroyed. I'm, like, 75 percent sure of it. Like, 50 percent sure. Twenty-five percent." In response, quarterback Matt Hasselbeck assured reporters that the Seahawks are, in fact, going to lose.

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