Terrible Seattle Seahawks Have No Chance In Hell Of Winning Playoff Game Again, Right?

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Vol 47 Issue 02

The High Reis: Top Playoff Storylines

All the playoff teams are this weekend so I decided to make a post about the top storylines in each game, which are all interesting. As explained to me, the storylines are the things people talk about. But it is more complicated than that. Anyway here are the storylines.
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Terrible Seattle Seahawks Have No Chance In Hell Of Winning Playoff Game Again, Right?

CHICAGO—Though the historically bad Seattle Seahawks managed, despite a 7-9 record, to defeat the defending world-champion Saints on Saturday, football fans agreed yesterday that the team will be thoroughly demolished on the road in Chicago this Sunday, right? "Look, they have the 28th-ranked offense and 27th-ranked defense; they're going to lose by 100, or at least a touchdown or so, right?" said Bears fan Kent Palmer, adding "lightning doesn't strike twice, usually." "It doesn't matter that they've already beaten us this year and they went point-for-point with the Saints. Marshawn Lynch isn't good, and I can't even name one player on their defense, so, yeah, they're going to get destroyed. I'm, like, 75 percent sure of it. Like, 50 percent sure. Twenty-five percent." In response, quarterback Matt Hasselbeck assured reporters that the Seahawks are, in fact, going to lose.

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