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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Terrified Jeb Bush Beginning To Fade From Visible Spectrum

LAS VEGAS—His voice slowing during his response to a question about immigration as he struggled to comprehend what was happening to him, a visibly terrified Jeb Bush reportedly began to vanish from the visible spectrum while on stage at Tuesday night’s Republican debate. “Securing our nation’s borders has to be the first priority in our…our…oh…oh, God. What—what’s going on?” said Bush, who, upon noticing that he was growing fainter, raised his translucent hands in front of his face in apparent disbelief, staring through them in horror for several seconds before frantically launching into the rest of his platform. “Uh, we need more surveillance along the border, better enforcement of immigration laws that are already on the books, immigrants should have to learn English, uh, we gotta crack down on sanctuary cities, oh and also we must protect the Second Amendment, repeal Obamacare, lower taxes, and, and—no, no, no! Noooooo!” At press time, a CNN set technician had hurried onto the stage and wheeled Bush’s podium away as the dim remaining silhouette of the candidate faded from sight forever.


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