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Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
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Terrifying Mutation Killing Off U.S. Cabinet Members One At A Time

WASHINGTON, DC–The slime-covered body of Commerce Secretary William Daley was found in a cocoon in the White House Monday, bringing the number of Cabinet members killed by the terrifying space mutation to five. "We're doing everything we can to stop this creature," said Transportation Secretary Rodney Slater, hiding somewhere in the White House with the other surviving Cabinet officials. "Unfortunately, you can't kill what you can't see." Added Slater: "What? Where's Alexis? I just saw her two seconds ago! Lord help us all." It is believed the secretaries will attempt to lure the shapeshifting mutation into the East Room and blast it through the airlock.

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