adBlockCheck

Recent News

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
End Of Section
  • More News

Terry Jones - Could Have At Least Manned Up And Burned One Koran

Pastor

With the gaze of the whole world fixed on his small Gainesville, FL–based Dove World Outreach Center this Sept. 11, Pastor Terry Jones shocked an anxious media by calling off his threat to burn 200 copies of the Koran, which is bullshit, really, because the guy should have at least had the balls to torch one measly copy. Right? If Jones, or anyone, wants to get a few hundred million people all riled up on the anniversary of a major national tragedy by saying he's going to burn a Koran, he'd better step up to the goddamn plate and burn a fucking Koran. Just to show the world he's not wasting everybody's time, if for no other reason. At least hold a match up to it and make a few hand motions like you're gonna do it, you know? Jesus Christ, something! Instead, Terry Jones totally wimped out in front of dozens of international news crews who were all just sitting there waiting patiently to catch one holy book going up in flames. Just one! But nope. He couldn't do it. In the end, 2010's biggest coward simply didn't have the stones to go through with it. Pussy.

More from this section

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close