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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Texans Confident They Have Right Pieces In Place To Make Deep Preseason Run

HOUSTON—Saying the team has benefited from a number of crucial offseason pickups, members of the Houston Texans expressed confidence to reporters Monday that they now have the right pieces in place to make a deep preseason run. “We’ve had our struggles before, but now that we’ve filled out the roster a bit, I think we have what it takes to go all the way in the preseason,” said Texans running back Arian Foster, pointing to such recent squad additions as starting quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick and safety Kendrick Lewis, both of whom Foster insisted would help the Texans “do some serious damage” during games in August. “We might have our share of doubters, but everyone here is tuning that stuff out and focusing on one thing: winning in the preseason. Honestly, if we can get hot and live up to our potential, I wouldn’t be surprised if we went 4-0 this year.” Foster went on to boldly claim that the Texans will be especially dangerous late in preseason games, when opposing teams are primarily fielding second and third stringers.

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