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Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Texans Players Wish They Were Good Enough To Rally For Gary Kubiak

HOUSTON—With their longtime coach just released from the hospital after collapsing during Sunday night’s game, members of the Houston Texans admitted to reporters Tuesday that they just wished the team was good enough to make a spirited on-field rally for Gary Kubiak. “We all love Coach, and don’t get me wrong, we want to go out there and win to lift his spirits so he can make a quicker recovery, but we can’t do it,” said Texans defensive end J.J. Watt, noting that while dedicating a huge victory to Kubiak “would be great,” the team is realistic about their chances after starting the season 2-6 and blowing an 18-point lead against Indianapolis last weekend. “If we were a little healthier and had a better passing game, then yeah, maybe we could come together and turn the season around for Coach Kubiak. But for now, pretty much the only thing we’re capable of is visiting him at home and playing with a ‘GK’ decal on our helmets. That’s about it.” Many players later confirmed that they might inspire Kubiak with a strong, hard-fought win in the team’s Nov. 24 game against the Jaguars.

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