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Sports

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Texting-While-Fielding Causes Record Number Of Outfield Collisions

NEW YORK—According to a new report released Saturday by Major League Baseball, a record number of outfield collisions have occurred during the 2012 season due to the rising trend of texting-while-fielding. “Unfortunately, we’ve seen over 600 incidents this year alone, which is roughly triple the number of recorded fielding crashes in 2009,” said the league’s Vice President of Baseball Operations, Joe Torre, revealing that approximately 70 percent of the outfielders in a recent survey admitted to sending texts or emails while trying to catch a pop fly within the last six months. “Texting-while-fielding is incredibly dangerous not only to yourself, but also your teammates. We know it might seem like an important message at the time, but it's just not worth the risk when you're chasing a line drive or sprinting for a hard grounder.” At press time, Cleveland Indians outfielder Michael Brantley was being rushed to the hospital after slamming into Ezequiel Carrera while texting “I got it” to teammates.

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