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Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

How Internet Clickbait Works

Facebook and other sites have recently begun to fight back against “clickbait,” often misleading internet posts designed to be seen by as many readers as possible. The Onion breaks down the production and spread of this content
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T.G.I. Friday’s Bankrupt After Spending Billions On Priceless Americana

CARROLLTON, TX—After years of spending billions on rare and highly expensive artifacts of American culture to display on its walls, the T.G.I. Friday’s restaurant chain announced Wednesday that it had declared bankruptcy. “We have always believed that authentic, priceless treasures of Americana were necessary to create the Friday’s dining experience, but in retrospect buying game-used, Babe Ruth–autographed baseball bats to display in each of our 900 locations was probably a mistake,” said company president Ricky Richardson, who confirmed the casual dining establishment had laid off more than half its staff, beginning with the thousands of full-time curators it employed to maintain its massive collection of memorabilia. “Showroom-condition 1957 Chevys are expensive enough to begin with, and by the time you pay to saw them in half and have them mounted on the wall in every restaurant, it costs a fortune. I suppose part of the blame falls on me for signing off on the purchase of every trumpet Louis Armstrong played during his 50-year career, and for outbidding the Smithsonian Institution on those propellers from the original Air Force One.” Richardson went on to apologize to all Friday’s shareholders, offering them each a copy of Action Comics #1 for their trouble.

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