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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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That's Fine, Area Girlfriend To See 'Anna Karenina' When Visiting Mom Over Christmas

PHILADELPHIA—Having been talked by her boyfriend into seeing Skyfall instead, a movie he insisted they would both enjoy, local girlfriend Chelsea Condos, 27, confirmed Saturday that it’s fine, she’ll just go to Anna Karenina with her mother when she visits her parents over Christmas. “No, no, it’s fine—I can just see it with my mom,” Condos said to the boyfriend, who also resisted her suggestion of viewing Life Of Pi on claims that he had not read any reviews of it yet. “It’ll be more fun watching it with my mom, anyway. We can just see the James Bond thing tonight.” At press time, Condos was unaware that her vocal anticipation of the upcoming release of Les Misérables would ultimately culminate in the couple going to see Django Unchained.

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