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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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That's What Host Of 'Showtime At The Apollo' Talking About

NEW YORK—Early reports indicate that yes—yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes—exactly what Showtime At The Apollo host Capone is talking about has occurred on stage at the Apollo Theater very recently. After admitting that he gots to give it up, and demanding that y'all better do so as well, Capone indicated that it is his belief that all the sisters know it, all the sisters out there shaking their heads, all the sisters know what it is he is talking about. He later went on to point out that one brother in the crowd be looking around like uh-oh, uh-oh, no, no. At press time, exactly what Capone was talking about remained unclear.
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