ARIES: You will experience unbounded happiness and success in every area of your life this week, unless of course there is something fundamentally and irreversibly wrong with you.
NEW YORK—Early reports indicate that yes—yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes—exactly what Showtime At The Apollo host Capone is talking about has occurred on stage at the Apollo Theater very recently. After admitting that he gots to give it up, and demanding that y'all better do so as well, Capone indicated that it is his belief that all the sisters know it, all the sisters out there shaking their heads, all the sisters know what it is he is talking about. He later went on to point out that one brother in the crowd be looking around like uh-oh, uh-oh, no, no. At press time, exactly what Capone was talking about remained unclear.