That's What Host Of 'Showtime At The Apollo' Talking About

In This Section

Vol 44 Issue 20

San Diego Zoo, Prison Merge

SAN DIEGO—The new ultra-efficient complex is open to schoolchildren on field trips, family members of convicted felons, and state-appointed defense lawyers.

Vatican Okays Space Aliens

Vatican chief astronomer Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes stated that belief in extraterrestrial life is not contradictory with church doctrine because aliens...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Family

Kids Love When Mom Sad Enough To Just Order Pizza

FORT WORTH, TX—Saying they get their hopes up anytime they notice her looking particularly downhearted, siblings Paulo and Marisa Hernandez told reporters Wednesday they love it when their mother is sad enough to just order pizza.

Sleep

That's What Host Of 'Showtime At The Apollo' Talking About

NEW YORK—Early reports indicate that yes—yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes—exactly what Showtime At The Apollo host Capone is talking about has occurred on stage at the Apollo Theater very recently. After admitting that he gots to give it up, and demanding that y'all better do so as well, Capone indicated that it is his belief that all the sisters know it, all the sisters out there shaking their heads, all the sisters know what it is he is talking about. He later went on to point out that one brother in the crowd be looking around like uh-oh, uh-oh, no, no. At press time, exactly what Capone was talking about remained unclear.
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More