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Entertainment

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:

50 Years Of ‘Star Trek’

Star Trek, the science-fiction show about the crew of the starship Enterprise, premiered 50 years ago today on NBC, spawning a cult following and decades of spin-offs. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s 50-year history

How Big-Budget Movies Flop

Despite the recent box-office failures of Exodus, Ben-Hur, and Gods Of Egypt, studios continue to fund big-budget movies they hope will achieve blockbuster success. The Onion provides a step-by-step breakdown of how one of these movies becomes a flop:

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 30, 2016

ARIES: Sometimes in life, you just need to stop whatever it is you’re doing and take a step back. Actually, maybe it’s two steps back. Yeah, that’s good. Keep going. The stars will let you know when you’re far enough.

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run

Your Horoscopes — Week Of August 9, 2016

ARIES: Your life’s story will soon play out in front of movie theater audiences across the country, though it’ll only last about 30 seconds and advertise free soft drink refills in the main lobby.

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.

Guide To The Characters Of ‘The Force Awakens’

The highly anticipated seventh episode in the ‘Star Wars’ series, ‘The Force Awakens,’ which will be released December 18, will feature several returning characters as well as a host of new ones. Here is a guide to the characters of ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens.’

Robert De Niro Stunned To Learn Of Man Who Can Quote ‘Goodfellas’

‘Bring Him To Me,’ Actor Demands

NEW YORK—Immediately halting production on his latest project after hearing of the incredible talent, legendary actor Robert De Niro was reportedly stunned to learn Wednesday that Bayonne, NJ resident Eric Sullivan, 33, can quote the critically acclaimed 1990 Martin Scorsese film Goodfellas at length.

Timeline Of The James Bond Series

This week marks the release of the 24th film in the James Bond franchise, Spectre, featuring Daniel Craig in his fourth appearance as the British secret agent. Here are some notable moments from the film series’s 53-year history
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Entertainment

The Chevy Chase Show Enters Sixth Blockbuster Season In Alternate Universe

LOS ANGELES–The Chevy Chase Show is steamrolling into its sixth blockbuster season in an alternate universe, it was reported Tuesday.

Chevy Chase chats with Goldie Hawn during a recent epsode of his wildly popular alternate-universe talk show.

According to sources, the late-night talk show, which ran for five disastrous weeks in the fall of 1993 in this universe, earned critical acclaim and a small but devoted cult following during its first season in the alternate realm. The program then steadily grew more popular through word of mouth, becoming the highest-rated talk show on TV by its third season, when Chase was proclaimed "The King Of Late Night" in a Time magazine cover story.

The Chevy Chase Show will celebrate its five years on the air–during which it has won 11 Emmys and two Peabodys–with a star-studded two-hour prime-time special on Fox this Friday at 9 p.m. EST, immediately following The Wilton North Report.

The prime-time special will feature highlights from the past five seasons, from the historic first episode featuring Oscar-winning box-office queen Goldie Hawn to President Clinton's surprise walk-on appearance last year. Clips from the show's wildly popular recurring comedy segments, including "Ask Dr. Chase" and "Chevy Tries On Funny Hats," will also be featured, as will a montage of Chase's serenades to guests on his desk-mounted keyboard.

The show's sixth season kicks off Sept. 7, with a redesigned set featuring a larger fishtank, more sound-effect buttons on Chase's desk, and a supercharged horn section for the show's band, The Hollywood Express.

Chase will still do his popular "News Update" at the show's midpoint, 11:30 p.m. EST, the time at which The Tonight Show With Jay Leno and Late Show With David Letterman used to start before their alternate-universe cancellations in 1993.

"Our strategy of having Chevy do the news just as Dave and Jay were coming on the air worked to perfection," Chevy Chase Show executive producer Marty Sachs said. "Nobody wanted to change channels, and, within a matter of weeks, The Tonight Show and Late Show were history."

For all the success, The Chevy Chase Show was nearly derailed earlier this month when Tom Scott, Chase's bandleader and second banana, held out for $2.5 million for the 1998-99 season. That salary dispute, as well as one with head writer Michael O'Donoghue, was resolved last week.

In a press conference held at the Chevy Chase Theater, one of alternate-universe Los Angeles' hottest tourist landmarks, a smiling Chase told reporters: "I want to thank the critics and the American viewing public for their extraordinary support of The Chevy Chase Show. But, as wonderful as all that has been, what I'm most happy about is just having the opportunity to work with this incredible creative team. I'm the luckiest guy in the world."

Chase then stared blankly into the television cameras while sweating and twitching nervously, the gesture that has become his much-loved trademark over the past five years.

"Chevy is a god," said Peter Scolari, comic actor and alternate-universe star of Forrest Gump, Apollo 13 and Saving Private Ryan. "He's everything I aspire to be in this business."

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