adBlockCheck

Entertainment

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
End Of Section
  • More News

The Daily Bump: America Has Gorgalon Fever

It seems like you can't pick up a magazine this week without seeing Zorla Gorgalon and her 352 precious newborns. Why are celebrity-watchers so obsessed with Zorla? It seems there’s a lot of good reasons.

First off, Zorla seems to be a genuinely good mother whose primary concerns in life are simply to put a roof over her children's heads and feeding them the 40 pounds of raw squid and three liters of paint they each consume daily.

Also, unlike some previous multi-mommies, Zorla doesn't appear desperate for the spotlight. In fact, she can be described as downright reclusive, usually hissing at the paparazzi and emitting an extremely high-pitched tone which melts all nearby plastics whenever a cameraman gets too close.

Finally, many fans feel inspired by Zorla's personal story of strength. Not only is Zorla a single mother but she reports she is a recent immigrant to "this place."

No matter what happens next for Zorla, one thing is clear: America will be watching.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close