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Google Unveils New Larry Page–Driven Car

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Touting the project as its most advanced foray yet into the realm of personal transportation, Google unveiled its new Larry Page–driven car at a press event Wednesday.

Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Nation’s Next Mass Protests

WASHINGTON—Stirring the emotions of citizens across the nation with his strong and affecting rhetoric, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision for the country’s next mass protests during his address to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

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God Sick Of New Angel’s Annoying Fucking Voice

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The Daily Bump: America Loves Zeljko!

As soon as OBC announced that "Former Warlord" star Zeljko Goran had successfully avoided being extradited to the Hague to stand trial for war crimes, the emails started flooding in. Here's just a sampling of the outpouring excitement over "Former Warlord: Season 2":

"Zeljko is seriously 10 times crazier than anyone else on TV. He actually killed 10,000 people." I mean, who does that sort of thing?"
--Joe R., Santa Cruz, CA

"Zeljko is the kind of reality TV star you just love to hate. The way he chops off the hands of anyone he doesn't like is so bitchy but also kinda awesome."
--Amanda R., Dallas, TX

"Some people complain Zeljko isn't a good role model but you know what he is? 100 percent real."
--Tim, St. Louis

"Did you see the one where Zeljko flipped out at his mistress in the hot tub and threatened to burn her eyes out with his cigar? What a train wreck. I couldn’t look away."
--Rhonda M., San Diego, CA

"Zeljko is totally insane! I mean he has actually has a psychological problem that makes him lack human empathy. Makes for great TV."
--Larry J., Granton, MO

"I'm sorry about that genocide, but I'm so glad that Zeljko isn't going to the Hague because me and my friends would have to cancel our weekly "White Wine & Former Warlord" party."
--Carla W., Austin, TX

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