adBlockCheck

Sports

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
End Of Section
  • More News

The High Reis: Ben Roethlisberger Broke My Trust With Him

I was going to root for Ben Roethlisberger in the Super Bowl because in him I saw a man who I shared a common experience with, including being suspended for something that was never proven in a court of law. So I wanted the Steelers to win, and I thought I would meet him at Dallas and hang out with him for a while, but he did not return my calls.

This crushed me. I guess Ben thought that now he was trying to be like a Mickey Mouse guy who everyone likes. I tried to do the same thing once and my advice to him is it does not work. After my first suspension I tried to work at women’s shelters to show that I did not really mean what I said, which is not important to get into, but I was often booed and had garbage thrown at me when I tried to explain my side of the story and my ideas about political correctness run amok. I think that the same thing will happen to Ben Roethlisberger.

Instead he decided to ignore me even though I know a ton of good spots in Dallas that photographers don't know about where he could have gotten trashed and had a good time. So I am glad he lost, because you do not go against Reiser. When he threw that interception I was like "ha ha Reiser is the king."

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close