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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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The High Reis: I Am Glad They Told Me The Show Is Moving To 8:00 This Time

Today they told me that SportsDome is going to be on at 8:00 PM from now on instead of 10:30 PM.  I was glad they told me.  In the past when they changed the time for the show they didn't always tell me in time.  The last time they moved me on SportsDome I showed up either seven hours early or seventeen hours late, or both.  I am thankful that they told me today because I have advanced warning, but not so much that I'll eventually forget.

8:00 is a better time for sports anyway than 10:30 is.  That's why I call it the Sports Time.  Whenever somebody asks me what time it is and it's 8:00, I say, "it's Sports Time."  Or I did that once, anyway.  But the person knew what I was talking about, which suggests to me that 8:00 really is the Sports Time.

The question most people have been asking me since they heard we are moving the show to 8:00 is if I tone down my trademark Reiser persona now that we are in primetime when most children are sitting in front of their televisions because of absentee parents.  I am confident it will be the same show, mostly because I never understand that what I've done is wrong until someone is reprimanding me for it.  The show will still be about sports and I will still be the king because Reiser Is The King, even at 8:00.

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