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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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The High Reis: I Don't Care About Politics So Obama Shouldn't Care About Sports

I work in sports on television as a man who talks about the sports stories of the day. I get on TV and I say if the players did bad or if the coaches did bad or if the teams did bad. I don't care about people who make laws so I don't say things about things like that.

That is what drives me crazy about the President Barack Obama. He is saying the Bears are going to win the Super Bowl which is a sports thing.

He did this a long time ago when he said North Carolina would win the Final Four. He said this and at first I was like "who is this who cares what he says." Then I found out that he was the president when he said it and I'm like "when did that happen" and they're like "He was elected in November it was historic." I didn't know about it because I don't read the newspapers I watch a lot of sports.

Then he said he was sad LeBron went to the Miami Heat. come on, you're the president I don't go around caring about what YOU do. Do you make laws? Do you decide wars and judges? I don't even know and I won't know because I am busy doing SPORTS.

One last story as I said previously he is now saying that the Bears will win and he wants them to win. HELLO I think you have a JOB to do. I don't know what it is but I hear about your name a lot and I hear about the "president of the United States" a lot so you clearly have to be busy.

Anyway that's what I think about sports and politics.

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