adBlockCheck

Sports

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
End Of Section
  • More News

The High Reis: Interview With Mark Shepard

Today I was bored so I decided to make a blog post by interviewing my SportsDome co-anchor Mark Shepard. I recorded it all on my voice recorder, but I dropped it down the sewer accidentally so I reconstructed the interview from memory. I tried to do a good interview, so here it is.

Why do you like working at SportsDome?

He talked for a while after this question and I don't remember what he said. He mentioned sports once or twice and I think he said something about "human drama" which is one of his favorite phrases, but I don't know what it means and I don't care to know either.

How much do you get paid?

Mark refused to answer this question.

What's your favorite sport?

He said soccer, then I made fun of him for a while and he got mad in that way where he doesn't admit he's mad, but I could tell because he turned red and he kept looking away and sighing a lot. I told him soccer was a sport for idiots and it was boring.

Why do you like working at SportsDome?

I accidentally asked this question twice.

How did you start working at OSN?

I don't remember what he said for this question.

I asked him another question that I forgot and in his answer he said something about "devil's food cake." Then we talked about devil's food cake for a while but that was off the record.

I also did an interview with Melissa Wells who is not an anchor but is always hanging around the studio. She walked off halfway through because the questions I was asking were "over the line." She said she was going to HR and although I think she was bluffing I'm not going to post the interview because I am already on thin ice.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close