The High Reis: Parking Garage Near Heat Arena Very Confusing

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Vol 47 Issue 01

Modern-Day Cowboy Rides 18-Wheeler Full Of Entenmann's Products Westward

SOLOMON, KS—Awakening to the lonely howl of a distant coyote early Tuesday morning, C.J. Hoppel climbs into his 18-wheeler and sets off westward across a barren stretch of unbroken prairie, the whipping wind his only companion as he pulls a rig full of Entenmann's baked goods and snack cakes across the plains.

Robert Gibbs Stepping Down

While House press secretary Robert Gibbs announced he would be leaving his position as White House press secretary to work as a political adviser.
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The High Reis: Parking Garage Near Heat Arena Very Confusing

I decided to check out a Miami Heat game this week. I went with reporter's credentials so I could get in for free and then write about it for this blog. I don't remember who they were playing that night.

I got to Miami in the afternoon and drove a rental car to the arena. I found a parking garage a few blocks away. They tried to charge me eight bucks for a ticket, but I said no way, that is way too much. But the person at the booth said that is the price and I have to pay it. I could have gotten the receipt and had it paid for by the network, but I didn't want to pay eight bucks for parking. What is a parking spot? It is just an empty space. I don't think you should pay for an empty space on the ground, especially not eight bucks, which adds up. But anyway I took the ticket and went to park.

I went up the ramp to the second or third level. I walked around looking for an elevator but couldn't find one. I had seen elevators when I was driving around looking for a space, but now I couldn't find any. I saw flights of stairs, but screw that, I didn't want to walk down any stairs like a chump.

I got lost in the parking garage. There were a bunch of levels to it. I couldn't find an elevator or my car. Finally I found another person walking around so I decided to follow him. But he was getting into his car, not leaving. I stood in front of his car and shouted at him, I don't remember what I shouted or why I did it.

I was walking around for an hour, probably. I found a vending machine so I bought a couple things from there and ate them, next to the machine, because I don't like to eat while I'm walking. Then I looked at my watch and the game had already started, so I decided to forget the game. I found my car pretty quick after that, probably only 30 or 40 minutes.

When I got to the ticket thing, the woman tried to get me to pay the full eight bucks, even though I hadn't gone to the game, I hadn't even left the parking garage. I blew past her but they had one of those spike strips so my tires popped. So I got out and walked to a bus stop and eventually got to the airport.

My prediction: the Heat are playing well together and they will win the NBA title.

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