adBlockCheck

Sports

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
End Of Section
  • More News

The High Reis: What Was That Part At The End

Football has a lot of confusing rules. I have been watching football for many years and I still don't understand them.

What happened at that part at the end of the first half? There was that weird play and the refs made some call but I didn't understand it. At the time there was a kid outside shouting about something. There are a lot of kids at my condo development, I don't know why. I think there are more kids in the world in general. Anyway the kid was shouting and throwing what look to be a pie tin up into the branches of a tree. There was a shirt up there, I think his shirt was blown into the tree or else someone threw it up there. I told him to be quiet and then I missed them talking about the play.

So what happened.

Good for Auburn for winning. I thought they would have lost. No one can ever take your title away from you, although they can say Cam Newton was a cheater and your defense was garbage and you probably just got lucky and wouldn't stand a chance in a seven-game series. But you're still probably pretty happy, I guess.

More from this section

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close