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OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.

Mr. Met’s Son Beginning To Think He Adopted

NEW YORK—Pointing out that there was little physical resemblance between himself and the rest of his family, the 10-year-old son of New York Mets mascot Mr. Met told reporters Tuesday that he was beginning to think he was adopted.

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
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The Most Inspiring Wishes Ever Granted By The Wish Zone

Tonight, we brought you the story of Alison Pencey, an eight-year-old Phillies fan who didn't let cancer stop her from hating David Wright with all her strong little heart. From the moment we met Alison and heard her call Wright a "pretty-boy slap hitter with a woman's face," she found a place in our hearts as one of the most inspirational Wish Zone recipients we ever had the pleasure of meeting.

Here are some of the most memorable Wish Zone segments ever:

- Back in 2009, Timothy Kelly and his abnormally large heart wished to ride shotgun in a real life NASCAR racer. And even though he wasn't big enough to reach the pedals, he rode along with his favorite driver Jeff Burton and even steered for almost half a lap, giving him a chance to crash into the car of rising star Eric McClure!

- 9-year-old cancer sufferer and Toronto Raptors fan Rodrigo Sandigo wanted nothing more than to play a one-on-one game with his favorite basketball player, Vince Carter. And he even took a 2-0 lead before Vince fell to the ground on a drive to the basket and limped off the court claiming he'd been flagrantly fouled.

- After watching both his parents fall overboard their cruise ship during a bad storm, David Farmer thought he'd never go in the water again. But with the help of Michael Phelps and a special back harness, David got in the pool again.

- Robby Hiller was born blind, but he loved playing the organ, and dreamed of showing his gift in front of an NHL audience for his Ottawa Senators. Team officials worried he would be terrible, so they wouldn't let him play in front of a crowd, but with a little crowd noise pumped into the booth, Robby was none the wiser. And he actually wasn't all that bad, missed a few notes, but passable.

- With stomach cancer at only seven, Emily Goldyn wanted nothing more than an end to her suffering. OSN made her wish come true, enlisting her favorite Minnesota Twin Joe Mauer to pull the plug and send her to Heaven.

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