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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.
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'The Natural' Not On TV Often Enough For Area Dad

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Local father Ken Hosmer voiced his disapproval Sunday concerning the frequency with which cable television channels air the 1984 film The Natural. "I was flipping through and didn't see The Natural on TMC, TBS, or even AMC," said Hosmer, adding that while The Hunt For Red October provided a temporary diversion, it was no substitute for the Robert Redford classic. “I just want to be able to surf around and catch him striking out The Whammer, or maybe the part where he breaks Wonderboy right before the final home run, you know?” Hosmer also criticized his local classic rock radio station for its infrequent broadcasting of Thin Lizzy's 1976 hit "The Boys Are Back In Town."

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