adBlockCheck

Sports

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
End Of Section
  • More News

The Prospects You Need To Know At The NFL Owner's Combine

This week in Indianapolis, the top NFL owning prospects in the country are gathering to prove that they have the raw skills it takes to be an NFL owner. The combine is the most important showcase for rich white businessmen will hundreds of millions of dollars on hand to prove they have what it takes to dominate an NFL franchise from the owner's box. Here are some of the under-the-radar magnates who have emerged as legitimate owning prospects during the combine.

Tom Harthridge
Will hire a firm to immediately redesign the uniform of any franchise he owns, ignore fan outcry and hide his initials somewhere in the new logo.

Brad Seaman
His iron-fisted management of the two southeastern theme parks he owns suggests he has the capability to run the kind of cult of personality to provide a distraction to even the most seasoned team.

Maurice Kleminski
Has hired and personally fired four CFOs as owner of Shop-Ease grocery stores, and promises to bring the same kind of fickle unpredictability to his NFL head coaching search.

Louis Michaels
Is grooming his flaky, incompetent 45-year-old son to run his hard-won business into the ground.

James Donaldson, III
His working-class-to-millionaire success story ensures that he has the kind of barely-subdued class resentment to make outbursts at overpaid players and his fellow owners a regular occurrence.

Nicholas Comigan
Though 48 years old, the former software mogul believes himself to be NFL players' peers and is sure to lead the league's owners in lewd comments and tasteless graphic tee shirts.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close