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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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The Prospects You Need To Know At The NFL Owner's Combine

This week in Indianapolis, the top NFL owning prospects in the country are gathering to prove that they have the raw skills it takes to be an NFL owner. The combine is the most important showcase for rich white businessmen will hundreds of millions of dollars on hand to prove they have what it takes to dominate an NFL franchise from the owner's box. Here are some of the under-the-radar magnates who have emerged as legitimate owning prospects during the combine.

Tom Harthridge
Will hire a firm to immediately redesign the uniform of any franchise he owns, ignore fan outcry and hide his initials somewhere in the new logo.

Brad Seaman
His iron-fisted management of the two southeastern theme parks he owns suggests he has the capability to run the kind of cult of personality to provide a distraction to even the most seasoned team.

Maurice Kleminski
Has hired and personally fired four CFOs as owner of Shop-Ease grocery stores, and promises to bring the same kind of fickle unpredictability to his NFL head coaching search.

Louis Michaels
Is grooming his flaky, incompetent 45-year-old son to run his hard-won business into the ground.

James Donaldson, III
His working-class-to-millionaire success story ensures that he has the kind of barely-subdued class resentment to make outbursts at overpaid players and his fellow owners a regular occurrence.

Nicholas Comigan
Though 48 years old, the former software mogul believes himself to be NFL players' peers and is sure to lead the league's owners in lewd comments and tasteless graphic tee shirts.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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