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Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.
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The Top Moments In OSNY History

Since their inception, the OSNY awards have been built on moments: bone-crushing, animal-killing, athlete-humiliating moments. We took a look at the top five on the pre-OSNY Dome tonight, but here are a list of runners-up that are champions in their own right:

  • 1952 - Eddie Gaedel wins the OSNY for "Tiniest Hero" after becoming the shortest man in major league history, and is honored by being passed around the crowd so everyone can rub his head
  • 1986 - Robin Yount doesn't even show up to claim his OSNY for Best Shortstop Turned Outfielder, like any cares who Robin Yount is
  • 1999 - The 90's are brought to a stirring close as the Stone Temple Pilots deliver a stirring 23-minute long rendition of "Plush"
  • 2002 - The OSNY's honor the victims of 9/11 by renaming every award, including "Best Team Since The Events Of 9/11" and "Teammates That Best Exemplify Spirit Of The Twin Towers"
  • 2005 - The entire New York Yankees roster stands on one stage to be laughed at and mocked for blowing a 3-0 series lead in the ALCS the year before
  • 2009 - Willie Mays receives 336 standing ovations, setting the record for the most standing ovations in a single sports awards show
  • 2010 - MMA champ Shane Corwin chokes out SportsDome anchor Alex Reiser on the red carpet

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MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

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