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Milestones In X Games History

With the X Games kicking off in Minneapolis this Thursday, The Onion looks back at memorable moments in the event’s 22-year history:

ESPN Holds Daytime ESPYs

HARTFORD, CT—Recognizing the best in sports programming that occurs on weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., ESPN held the Daytime ESPY Awards at the Hartford XL Center Wednesday afternoon.

Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

OB-GYN Assures Serena Williams Fetus Developing Serve On Schedule

WEST PALM BEACH, FL—Observing that the unborn child was producing the smooth, fluid strokes expected in the third trimester, ob-gyn Dr. Theresa Umbers reportedly assured world No. 4–ranked tennis player Serena Williams at an appointment Tuesday that her fetus was developing its serve right on schedule.

New Report Finds MMA Could Be Bad For Your Knees

LOS ANGELES—Following a 10-year study of more than 500 professional and amateur fighters, a report released Thursday by the UCLA Department of Physiology found that mixed martial arts could be bad for your knees.
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The Top Moments In OSNY History

Since their inception, the OSNY awards have been built on moments: bone-crushing, animal-killing, athlete-humiliating moments. We took a look at the top five on the pre-OSNY Dome tonight, but here are a list of runners-up that are champions in their own right:

  • 1952 - Eddie Gaedel wins the OSNY for "Tiniest Hero" after becoming the shortest man in major league history, and is honored by being passed around the crowd so everyone can rub his head
  • 1986 - Robin Yount doesn't even show up to claim his OSNY for Best Shortstop Turned Outfielder, like any cares who Robin Yount is
  • 1999 - The 90's are brought to a stirring close as the Stone Temple Pilots deliver a stirring 23-minute long rendition of "Plush"
  • 2002 - The OSNY's honor the victims of 9/11 by renaming every award, including "Best Team Since The Events Of 9/11" and "Teammates That Best Exemplify Spirit Of The Twin Towers"
  • 2005 - The entire New York Yankees roster stands on one stage to be laughed at and mocked for blowing a 3-0 series lead in the ALCS the year before
  • 2009 - Willie Mays receives 336 standing ovations, setting the record for the most standing ovations in a single sports awards show
  • 2010 - MMA champ Shane Corwin chokes out SportsDome anchor Alex Reiser on the red carpet

More from this section

Milestones In X Games History

With the X Games kicking off in Minneapolis this Thursday, The Onion looks back at memorable moments in the event’s 22-year history:

ESPN Holds Daytime ESPYs

HARTFORD, CT—Recognizing the best in sports programming that occurs on weekdays from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., ESPN held the Daytime ESPY Awards at the Hartford XL Center Wednesday afternoon.

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