adBlockCheck

Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
End Of Section
  • More News

Third-Party Candidate Forms Exploratory Committee To See Who Can Cover Shifts For Him In Coming Months

MINNEAPOLIS—Laying the groundwork for a potential presidential run, United Progressive Party leader Jed Connelly formed an exploratory committee Wednesday to determine whether any coworkers could pick up a few evening shifts for him as the 2012 campaign season begins to heat up. "Before I officially throw my hat in the ring, it's imperative that I gauge the viability of [shift leader] Carrie [Bullock] cutting me some slack on the weekends," said Connelly, adding that early polling suggested a high likelihood that Derek would be cool about swapping a couple Thursdays. "2012 will be a landmark election, and that's why it's important to get my name out there early, particularly among anyone on morning shift who might be willing to pull a double." While a final decision remained weeks away, Connelly stated that the committee was on track to file official paperwork with the Federal Election Commission in June, provided someone on his team had access to a printer.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close