This App Turns Your Photos Into Music If You Want To Do That For Some Reason

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Content From 2014-03-24

87% Of Man’s Memories Shame-Based

DULUTH, MN—Stating that the man is rarely able to reflect on events from earlier in his life without visibly wincing, sources confirmed Monday that 87 percent of local medical claims processor Tyler Collins’ memories are rooted in the emotions...

Single Mother Hogging 2 Jobs

INDIANAPOLIS—Between her regular employment cleaning homes and side work waitressing at Perkins on mornings and weekends, 35-year-old single mother Janice Paulings is greedily hogging two jobs all to herself, outraged sources reported Monday.

Browns Eyeing 6 Quarterbacks To Rifle Through In 2014

CLEVELAND—In an effort to dispel uncertainty surrounding the quarterback position, Cleveland Browns head coach Mike Pettine confirmed Monday that the team is currently monitoring six players to rifle through in rapid succession next season.

Male Babysitters Earn More Than Female Babysitters

A new report by the economics blog Priceonomics found that even though less than 3 percent of all babysitters are men, they earn a higher average wage than their female counterparts, with male babysitters earning an average of $15 an hour as opposed to $1...

Cheddar Cheese Prices Skyrocket Due To Chinese Demand

The Dairy Export Council reported this week that the cost of cheddar cheese climbed 18 percent this year to its highest price ever because domestic manufacturers have been unable to meet the demand for cheese by Chinese purchasers.

Lowly Mortal Opens Portal To Hell

John Kerry poses as a masseuse to get a few minutes with Putin, parents reminisce to their children about the dating algorithm that brought them together, and a lowly mortal opens a portal to hell.

Surge Answered With Rally

SAN DIEGO—With a succession of quick baskets during the NCAA Tournament Friday, sources confirmed that a surge was quickly answered by a rally.

Sleep Loss Can Cause Brain Damage

A study published this week in the journal Neuroscience found that inconsistent sleep patterns, including not sleeping enough and sleeping erratic hours, can result in an irreversible loss of brain neurons.

Half Of Americans Believe In Medical Conspiracy Theories

According to a new survey, nearly half of Americans believe in at least one medical conspiracy theory, among them that the FDA is hiding disease cures under pressure from drug companies and that health officials are concealing the fact that cell phones ca...
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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

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This App Turns Your Photos Into Music If You Want To Do That For Some Reason

Tech CEO Thomas Fisk started with a simple goal: make an app that turns one thing into another thing. He says his new service PicSong can do just that.

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