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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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This Apparently That Year Marlins Win World Series Again

MIAMI—After enduring five years of mediocrity since a 2003 World Series title that was itself preceded by five years of mediocrity, the Florida Marlins will evidently go ahead and win the World Series again if their 11-2 start to the season is any indication. "I guess they're doing that thing where no one will really completely believe in them all year, but they'll be unstoppable in the playoffs, beat some interesting team like the Cubs along the way, and win it all," broadcaster Tim Kurkjian said. "Then I guess they'll sell off all their good players, play a bunch of 17-year-olds, lose 100 games, nuke their own fan base, and somehow blame it on not having their new stadium yet. I see." Kurkjian then made a note to himself to pick the Marlins to win the World Series in 2015.

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