This Article Generating Thousands Of Dollars In Ad Revenue Simply By Mentioning New iPad

In This Section

Vol 48 Issue 10

How Sturdy Is That?

HGTV 5:00 p.m. EST/4:00 p.m. CST Host Bryan Lowd leans against a shed in Tulsa, jumps on a floorboard in Denver, and sits on five rocking chairs in front of a live studio audience.

Negative Nancies

ABC 1:00 p.m. EST/12:00 p.m. CST Nancy Grace, Nancy Kerrigan, and Nancy Pelosi talk about how bad the environment's getting and how sad it is nobody knows their neighbors anymore.

College Graduates Making 8% to 11% Less

According to the Economic Policy Institute, female college graduates are making 7.6 percent less than they did 10 years ago, while their male counterparts are making 11 percent less.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Sleep

Race Relations

This Article Generating Thousands Of Dollars In Ad Revenue Simply By Mentioning New iPad

SAN FRANCISCO—According to industry sources, this news article is generating a veritable bonanza of highly lucrative advertising revenue by mere virtue of the fact that it mentions Apple's new iPad. "Current estimates show that the particular article I am being quoted in at this very moment began to accumulate thousands of dollars in ad-based profits as soon as the words 'new iPad' appeared in the headline," said market analyst Jonathan Bowers, who single-handedly and out of thin air created cold hard cash for a media organization simply by adding that the new Apple iPad will feature a high-definition screen and an improved processor. "Furthermore, any subsequent mention of the new iPad in this article—as well as any mention of the fact that preorders for the device start today—is resulting in increased reader traffic and, thus, increased revenues for your company's ad-based business model." At press time, new iPad, new iPad, new iPad, new iPad, new iPad, new iPad, new iPad, new iPad, new iPad, new iPad.

Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More