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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Thomas Jefferson Impersonator Reenacts Famous Cell Phone Shouting Match With Wife

PHILADELPHIA—Pacing angrily behind Independence Hall, historical actor and Thomas Jefferson impersonator Tim Blodgett, 48, loudly reenacted the legendary cell phone shouting match between the nation's third president and his wife, sources reported Thursday. "For Christ's sake, Sheila, how many times do we have to go over this," hissed Blodgett, vividly bringing to life the historic scene exactly as it might have occurred more than 200 years ago. "Just tell your mother to call Time Warner and have someone come over and set up the goddamn box already. No, absolutely not—I'll be home when I'm home." After cursing beneath his breath, Blodgett painstakingly reenacted the time Thomas Jefferson got into his Honda Civic, drove to a nearby Bennigan's, and got "blackout drunk" with his buddy Mitch.

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