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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Thought Of Cross-Dressing, Joining LPGA Briefly Crosses David Duval's Mind

DENVER, CO—Though he is currently taking a brief sabbatical from golf to spend time with his family, David Duval once again entertained thoughts of dressing in a modest, clean-lined polo shirt, a crisp knee-length navy cotton skirt, and classic pedal-pusher golf shoes in the interest of entering the LPGA Tour under the name of Esperanze Duvette. "You don't suppose I… Huh," Duval said to himself while admiring a set of yellow-and-pink Callaway head covers at a Denver-area pro shop Tuesday. "I mean, what if I… I mean… Hmm." Duval then spent the better part of an hour alternating between staring wistfully at posters of Paula Creamer and holding Lycra-blend sport-dresses up in front of himself while peering in the shop's mirrors.

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Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

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