Thousands Of College Football Players Expected To Play Through Season With Broken NCAA System

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Vol 50 Issue 17

60 Teens Arrested In Senior Class Prank

More than 60 students from Teaneck High School in New Jersey were arrested this week after they taped hot dogs to lockers and urinated all over the floors as part of a senior class prank.
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Thousands Of College Football Players Expected To Play Through Season With Broken NCAA System

INDIANAPOLIS—Asserting that the tenacious athletes are prepared to tough it out just as they have in recent years, officials confirmed Wednesday that thousands of collegiate football players are expected to play through the upcoming season with a badly broken NCAA system. “Though these guys are struggling to perform with a system that is barely functional at this point, it’s a testament to their resiliency and heart that they’ll be suiting up for us this year,” NCAA president Mark Emmert told reporters, emphasizing that the players are prepared to give it their all despite telltale symptoms of a fractured athletic association further compounded by a totally unstable compensation structure. “Given the severity of the situation, a lot of people don’t think these guys should even be taking the field in the first place, but I’m confident that they’ll be able to play through it. Obviously at some point we’re going to have to just go in there and completely rebuild it. The good news, at least, is that the damage can’t possibly get any worse.” Emmert added that in the event that playing with a broken NCAA system leads to any career-ending injuries, the athletes are easily replaceable.

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