adBlockCheck

Thousands Of Elderly Japanese-Americans Rounded Up For Internment Camp’s 70th Reunion

Top Headlines

Recent News

NASA Discovers Distant Planet Located Outside Funding Capabilities

WASHINGTON—Noting that the celestial body lies within the habitable zone of its parent star and could potentially harbor liquid water, NASA officials announced at a press conference Thursday they have discovered an Earth-like planet located outside their funding capabilities.

A Primer On Everyday Sexism

Though opportunities for women have increased considerably over the past century, insidious everyday sexism continues to inform the female experience. Here are some commonly asked questions about this pervasive form of discrimination

Diehard Trump Voters Confirm Rest Of Nation Should Stop Wasting Time Trying To Reach Them

‘If Anything Could Change Our Minds, It Would’ve Happened By Now,’ Say Candidate’s Supporters

WASHINGTON—Saying it should be very clear by now that absolutely nothing can change their position on the matter, steadfast supporters of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told the rest of the nation Wednesday that it really shouldn’t bother trying to persuade them not to vote for him.

Mom Learns About New Vegetable

MERRILVILLE, IN—Excitedly sharing the news with her husband and two teenage children, local mother Karen Tyson, 49, learned about a new vegetable Wednesday, sources confirmed.

Tim Kaine Found Riding Conveyor Belt During Factory Campaign Stop

AIKEN, SC—Noting that he disappeared for over an hour during a campaign stop meet-and-greet with workers at a Bridgestone tire manufacturing plant, sources confirmed Tuesday that Democratic vice presidential candidate Tim Kaine was finally discovered riding on one of the factory’s conveyor belts.

Why Don’t People Like Hillary Clinton?

Although she’s secured the Democratic presidential nomination, many voters across all demographics are still hesitant to vote for Hillary Clinton. The Onion breaks down the reasons Clinton is having a hard time luring reluctant voters.

Cover Letter Specifically Tailored To Company Even Sadder Than Generic Ones

BEDMINSTER, NJ—Wincing noticeably as they read the applicant’s claim that he has “always wanted to work for the leading midsize pharmaceutical advertising and brand strategy group in the tri-state area,” sources at Percepta Healthcare Communications confirmed Tuesday that a cover letter specifically tailored to their company was much sadder than any of the generic ones they had received for a recently posted job opening.

Who Are Donald Trump’s Supporters?

As Election Day draws near and GOP candidate Donald Trump continues to retain a loyal supporter base, many wonder who these voters are and what motivates them. Here are some key facts to know
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Thousands Of Elderly Japanese-Americans Rounded Up For Internment Camp’s 70th Reunion

Just a few of the lucky participants in the military-enforced 70th anniversary celebration.
Just a few of the lucky participants in the military-enforced 70th anniversary celebration.

POSTON, AZ—Commemorating the internment during World War II of nearly 120,000 innocent Japanese-Americans, U.S. authorities this week reportedly tracked down and apprehended thousands of the now-elderly detention camp survivors for a 70th anniversary reunion.

Packing the onetime detainees into buses, armed guards forcibly returned them to their cramped, ramshackle barracks at the Poston War Relocation Center—just one of many sites across the country in which aging Japanese-Americans accused of nothing more than their ancestry have been given the chance to revisit a powerful, formative event from their pasts.

“After finding out where all the internment alumni now live, we removed them from their homes and hospital beds and brought them here, to the camp, so they could reconnect with old friends and take part in the ongoing festivities,” said U.S. Army Lt. Col. Grant Lowry, who oversees the recently reactivated prison in the Arizona desert. “We’re hoping that by rounding everyone up and getting them back behind the barbed wire, they’ll be able to relive some memories from long ago, and maybe even make a few new ones!”

“The celebration is mandatory,” Lowry added.

Military reports indicated that the former internees—the majority of whom were U.S. citizens seven decades ago and still are today—began their nostalgic reunion experience by arriving at the detention camp with nothing more than the clothes on their backs. Each was then shoved into a tiny barrack that he or she will share with two dozen or so fellow alumni, “just like old times.”

According to sources, though many of the Japanese-American survivors are now in their nineties and suffering from various forms of dementia, a flood of memories from their youth came rushing back when they were once more summarily expelled from their neighborhoods and forced to abandon their homes, businesses, cars, and pets.

“Many were too overwhelmed to speak, but the looks on their faces said it all,” said Army Capt. Amanda Gilmore, adding that the elderly men and women became emotional upon having their old identification tags strung around their necks. “You could tell they were really surprised to be going through this all over again. I mean, they were just kids the first time around, so it’s neat that they can come back.”

After being processed at the internment center, stripped of contraband, and deloused, the newly reinstated detainees were reportedly astonished to discover that with the exception of a festive “70th Anniversary Celebration” banner hanging from its gated entrance, the camp remained largely unaltered, its facilities featuring the same rustic sanitary facilities, lack of adequate shelter, and dangerous shortages of food and medical supplies.

The returning inmates are said to have partaken in many of the same activities that filled the days of their youth: huddling around makeshift campfires, using unpartitioned toilets, and building their own classrooms out of adobe just so they could attend school. This familiar routine, Gilmore said, has allowed the seniors to revisit that special place where they spent a substantial portion of their young lives.

“The second they see the machine gun nests or hear that voice on the loudspeaker calling them to the yard for the morning head count, you can see it hit them: They’re back,” Gilmore said of the internees who, in the festive spirit of the anniversary, have again been pressured to swear allegiance to their U.S. captors and to inform on their fellow prisoners. “These folks may be getting on in their years, but you’d be surprised how well some of them can still stand up to hours of interrogation.”

“We’re just so glad we were able to this before it was too late,” she added.

Military officials acknowledged the 70th anniversary events had been postponed for months due to the difficulty of assembling the former detainees, many of whom the Army “spent forever trying to find, only to realize a bunch had actually died in the camps back in the 1940s.”

Stressing the importance of continuing to honor the rich legacy of the internment experience, Gilmore told reporters she believes the nation as a whole is doing just that.

“Most Americans are celebrating the anniversary by doing what they’ve always done: pretending none of this ever happened,” she said.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close