adBlockCheck

Sports

MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
End Of Section
  • More News

Thrilling Duke-Albany Game Ends With Last-Second Buzzer

PHILADELPHIA—The first-round NCAA tournament game between 2nd-seeded Duke and 15th-seeded Albany ended in sensational fashion Friday after a buzzer sounded at the very last possible moment. “And there’s the buzzer! Wow, what a finish!” said CBS announcer Kevin Harlan, who noted that the decisive buzzer seemed to go off at the exact moment time expired. “Did it go off before the clock ran down? They’re looking at the replay now, but it looked to me like that buzzer went off just in time. Yes, the referees are confirming it went off with zero seconds on the clock.” With the result in the books, the all-time combined winning percentage of 2 and 15 seeds in the first round now stands at .500.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close