Tiger Woods Adopts Son To Compete In PGA's Del Webb Father/Son Challenge

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Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

How To Adopt A Child

Adoption is a beautiful way to provide a loving home for a child, though it is a logistically complex process that might take months or even years to complete. Here are the steps involved in adopting a child:

The Pros And Cons Of Helicopter Parenting

The rising trend of “helicopter parenting,” or hovering over a child’s educational, social, extracurricular, and home life, has been praised by some as true dedication to one’s kids and decried by others for potentially smothering a child’s independent development. Here are the pros and cons of helicopter parenting

Conductor Fatigue Blamed In Massive Model Train Crash

BLOOMINGTON, IN—After surveying the dozen railcars and cargo of Lincoln Logs strewn haphazardly across the grass mat, investigators concluded Friday that a massive model train derailment was the result of conductor fatigue.
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Tiger Woods Adopts Son To Compete In PGA's Del Webb Father/Son Challenge

ORLANDO, FL—Calling it "the best decision [he's] ever made," Tiger Woods adopted 11-year-old orphan Randy Gearhardt last week so he would qualify for the PGA Tour's annual Del Webb Father/Son Challenge. "I love my little Rodney [sic]—he has a good heart, and a much better short game than Vijay Singh's son," Woods said following the tandem's first-place finish in the tournament. "Even though we wouldn't have won if it weren't for me, I'm still proud of him." Now that the season is over, Woods said he is planning on spending a lot of time with his son, devoting every waking hour to molding him into the greatest golfer in the sport's history

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