Tiger Woods Begins Sobbing Uncontrollably On 5th Hole Of U.S. Open

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Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods, Lindsey Vonn Blame Breakup On Hectic Sex Lives

JUPITER ISLAND, FL—Explaining that the pressures of their day-to-day commitments had given them no other choice but to end their three-year relationship, golf star Tiger Woods and Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn released a joint statement Wednesday blaming their breakup on their hectic sex lives.

Terms Of Tiger's Divorce

Former super-couple Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren are making it official with one of the highest-profile divorces in sports. Here's how it will work:

Tiger Woods Announces Return To Sex

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, FL—In an announcement highly anticipated by sex fans around the world, Tiger Woods told a small gathering of reporters, family, and lovers Friday that the most dominant fornicator on the planet would soon return to sex.

Tiger's Slump

Despite one great come-from-behind tournament win, Tiger Woods has not been the same golfer since returning from surgery. Some signs he's not...

Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods may be the greatest golfer of all time, but how great does that make him?

Tiger Woods Putts Baby Into Diaper

ORLANDO, FL—Tiger Woods added yet another accomplishment to his already outstanding résumé Sunday when the 13-time major winner successfully putted his baby daughter, five-month-old Sam Alexis Woods, into a fresh Huggies...

Tiger Woods Reveals He Is Zach Johnson

AUGUSTA, GA—World No. 1-ranked golfer Tiger Woods, after appearing to struggle through the weekend—playing with uncharacteristic inconsistency, bogeying twice in the final rounds, and breaking clubs—shocked the crowd at Augusta...

Nike's $100 Million Man

Tiger Woods recently signed a fiv-year, $100 million contract with Nike. What are the conditions of Wood's contract?
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Tiger Woods Begins Sobbing Uncontrollably On 5th Hole Of U.S. Open

PEBBLE BEACH, CA—Overcome by problems in his personal life, an inability to get his golf game in order, and his foundering public image, Tiger Woods broke out into uncontrollable sobs on the fifth tee of the U.S. Open yesterday. "He took his practice swing, stood behind the ball to line up his shot, and then just lost it," said playing partner Lee Westwood, adding that Woods' sobs were punctuated with high-pitched yells of "What the hell is going on with my life?" "Oh God, oh God, oh God," and "What are you all staring at?" "At one point Tiger wiped away his tears with his golf glove, and then got really upset because he got his golf glove wet. He mumbled something like, 'You fucked up again, Tiger. You fucked up again.'" Four minutes into Woods' breakdown, playing partner Ernie Els also began sobbing for reasons that still remain unclear.

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