Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Tiger Woods' Reputation Takes Another Hit After He Is Caught Operating A Coal Mine With Flagrant Disregard For OSHA Regulations

FAIRMONT, WV—In an announcement that has caused the golfer to lose further endorsement deals and degraded his already meager public esteem, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration released a report Monday citing a West Virginia coal mine owned by Tiger Woods for more than 400 violations. "This is one of the worst cases of workplace negligence we've seen in decades," said OSHA spokesman Mark Colson, adding that the mine has been the site of 24 deaths in the past five years. "I have to question if this man has any shred of conscience at all. His near total disregard for the people in his life who depend on him is simply staggering." The mine report is only the latest bad publicity for Woods, following March's revelation that he provided much of Bosnian genocidaire Slobodan Milosevic's political support in the late 1990s and January's news that he destroyed a painting he owned, a major work by Andy Warhol, in a sex accident.

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