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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Tiger Woods' Reputation Takes Another Hit After He Is Caught Operating A Coal Mine With Flagrant Disregard For OSHA Regulations

FAIRMONT, WV—In an announcement that has caused the golfer to lose further endorsement deals and degraded his already meager public esteem, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration released a report Monday citing a West Virginia coal mine owned by Tiger Woods for more than 400 violations. "This is one of the worst cases of workplace negligence we've seen in decades," said OSHA spokesman Mark Colson, adding that the mine has been the site of 24 deaths in the past five years. "I have to question if this man has any shred of conscience at all. His near total disregard for the people in his life who depend on him is simply staggering." The mine report is only the latest bad publicity for Woods, following March's revelation that he provided much of Bosnian genocidaire Slobodan Milosevic's political support in the late 1990s and January's news that he destroyed a painting he owned, a major work by Andy Warhol, in a sex accident.

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